THE CLUTTERMONSTER (part 1 - full version published at Christmas!)
I like my room NEAT, I like my room TIDY
I put all my bits away, Monday to Friday
I pack up my stuff, my clothes and my toys
I am an EXAMPLE to girls and to boys
I fold up my trousers, NO pants on the floor
My skateboard is NEVER left just by the door
NO WAY are the duvet, cushions and lamp
Left on the carpet, turned into a camp
Turn out the drawers to make a spacecraft?
A silly idea, you’ve got to be daft!
There is a problem, as you will see
When I tell you about it I’m SURE you’ll agree
It happens whenever I’m not in the room
It happens at night by the light of the moon
When I am at school, or climbing a tree
Whatever, it’s certainly not down to me
My room is perfection, it’s doughnuts and buns
And then, without warning she silently comes
Nobody sees her, nobody knows
That she creeps into houses when everyone goes
She slides into bedrooms when you are not there
With a cackle, a belch and a MEANINGFUL STARE
She’s a cluttery monster, a monster that’s cluttery
Warts on her face and a nose that’s all buttery
There’s a hair on her chin that is really quite big
And a nose that reminds you of pot-bellied pigs
She doesn’t like tidy, she likes a MESS
From the North to the South, from the East to the West
She’s a cluttery monster, a mistress of clutter
If you think that I’m joking you must be a NUTTER
She scatters your bedclothes all over the floor
She jams all your toys right up by the door
She throws all your socks to left and to right
Till your room is a horrible, terrible sight
All of your books will be in the wrong place
She also smears chocolate all over your face
How do I know this? I’m hearing you ask me
Well, that is the point of this FABULOUS story …
(What happens next? to be continued ...!)